CANCER IS STILL A STUPID HEAD!

I remember this quote from one of my tykes when our beloved dog died. It has often come back to haunt me, but now I am shedding new tears because another family member has been diagnosed with prostate cancer.

I really HATE this disease. I wish with all my heart that they could find a cure for cancer... Imagine what the world would be. How many lives would be saved. How much physical and emotional pain would be spared.

And just so that I can feel like I have made a difference in at least one person's life -- please make your young brothers/sons/husbands/friends get an early PSA test done so they can have a baseline for tests later on. This is not something that most people think about when they are young and healthy... AND BY ALL MEANS -- don't let them put this test off on an annual basis if their levels are above 1!

On Christmas Eve, my family member was helping his wife prepare the dinner and he casually mentioned to me that he had just received the test results for his PSA level -- that it was at 14. (I think that he talked to me about it because he knew that one of my dads had died from complications from prostate cancer...) I immediately felt uneasy about what he told me because when my dad was diagnosed, his level was MUCH lower than that (I later found out that it was at a 5.4) and it seems like it took years before the level was 14 or higher...

A couple of weeks later, he met with a urologist and had a biopsy done -- eight out of the 12 pieces came back with a positive result for cancer. He has been scheduled for a bone scan this week and after the results come back they will talk treatment plans. As I recall, my dad had numerous bone scans over the years and it wasn't until nearly the end that they finally realized where the cancer had ended up. He had his prostate removed at the first of treatment, but a short time later the doctors realized that his cancer had moved into the bloodstream and they were just biding their time to see where it would end up. By the time he died, his PSA level was in the hundreds.

My father was given a life expectancy of nine years after he was diagnosed. I still remember the day that he asked us to sit with him in the living room and told us that he had cancer. I remember all the tears that I shed throughout those nine years -- the thoughts of "the end" and the impact it would have on our family. I remember the hours that I spent with him, trying to help make him comfortable; knowing that the time that I spent was limited, very precious, and not nearly enough. I remember holding his hand as he took his last breathe and staying with his body after he passed on. I remember how desolate I felt. I still think of all the things I wanted to do with him -- all the things I still want to talk about. How I wish I could call him to ask for advice when the cars are not working properly. How I miss Christmas dinners. How the family just isn't right without him here. How I think of him every single day.

Frankly, I am scared. I am having a very difficult time being optimistic. I have seen what this horrible disease does to people and I am dreading that he will have to experience it.

Too many people from his generation are getting cancer. Too many people that I know and love... What in the hell happened to our world when these men and women were younger? What is causing this horrible malfunction? What do we have to look forward to as the years pass by? What will my brothers and children and friends have to face in the future?