Today was the day. I've known it was coming for quite some time but after I watched her bump into the house about seven times the other night in search of her way to the door I knew that it was not humane to keep her around for much longer. I prayed, I pleaded, I begged the higher power to take her naturally. But, unfortunately, I had to make the choice today to end her little life. The clincher was when I had to give her a bath because she had slept in her own urine. Her little body was pretty much skin, fur and bones. When she walked around in the tub, her little hips were clicking. I knew, without a doubt, that when I took her to the veterinarian appointment today we were not going to treat her for the ear infection that I am sure she had.
When we got to the clinic, he checked her over. He listened to her heart. He looked at her little eyes.
He told us that she most likeley had diabetes and possible liver problems. Definitely a serious heart murmer. She had a serious case of dementia... I probably would have all those things if I was 105, too.
He gave us the option. He could treat her. He could do blood tests to confirm all the things that we already figured she had. We could prolong the agony. She wasn't comfortable at home. We couldn't even put her in a decent bed because she would just pee in it the moment she stepped on it.
I had already decided yesterday that it was probably time. My husband and kids were ready to make the choice. We just needed to have a professional confirm it.
All in all, knowing what should be done does not make it easier or better.
I am seriously heartbroken. I can't stop crying.
She was my oldest child. She wasn't an animal -- she was a little, four-legged human.
She had a big spirit and she was as gentle as could be. She was my husband's shadow. She was my confidant. She was my protector when I lived in this little house all those years when I was so desperately lonely when my husband was at school.
She was my best friend.
And dang it all... I am going to miss her.
3 comments:
I'm so sorry. What a sad, tough loss. Hugs to you.
I am so sorry for your loss. I know it must be so hard. My thoughts are with you.
So sorry! I still remember having our dog put down when I was 14. It was horrible. I hope things get better.
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